?

Log in

Goodbye Blue Monday [entries|friends|calendar]
G.I. Jew

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Less than a month to go... [08 Apr 2007|07:47pm]
I'm compiling all of my contact info for the summer. Let me know if you would like to receive this compilation. And make sure I have an e-mail address if I don't already...
3 dead | so it goes...

Ausgezeichnet! [28 Feb 2007|11:22pm]
I had a graduate Quantum class last semester and purposefully spent some extra time talking to my professor and getting to know him a little. I had mentioned a few times my interest in going to Germany and this semester I asked him to talk to some of his German colleagues for me to see if any of them would be willing to take me for the summer.

He got a response from his friend in Munich saying he'd probably be able to take me. The guy also just happened to be a guest here at UF this week so I met with him and we talked about what sorts of options I have and what interests I have and what not.

The important part is that apparently I come highly recommended enough from someone he trusts enough that...well... I'm in. So I'm going to spend the summer in Munich doing Quantum Chemistry research... not sure what kind of project exactly but that can be figured out later on. They're going to cover my accommodations and it will be fan-fucking-tastic. So who's visiting?

Auf wiedersehen, bitches!
2 dead | so it goes...

Who cares if it doesn't actually work, you can still hope. [29 Feb 2004|10:30pm]
Bring the Tick Animated Series to DVD/Video Cassette Petition.
2 dead | so it goes...

Every once in a while, he lets out a huge nugget of truth. [26 Feb 2004|09:19pm]
"I have never seen a more sublime demonstration of the totalitarian mind, a mind which might be likened unto a system of gears whose teeth have been filed off at random. Such a snaggle-toothed thought machine, driven by a standard or even substandard libido, whirls with the jerky, noisy, gaudy pointlessness of a cuckoo clock in Hell...
...The dismaying thing about the classic totalitarian mind is that any given gear, though mutilated, will have at its circumference unbroken sequences of teeth that are immaculately maintained, that are exquisitely machined.
Hence the cuckoo clock in Hell--keeping perfect time for eight minutes and thirty three seconds, jumping ahead fourteen minutes, keeping perfect time for six seconds, jumping ahead two seconds, keeping perfect time for two hours and one second, then jumping ahead a year.
The missing teeth, of course, are simple, obvious truths, truths available and comprehensible even to ten-year-olds, in most cases.
The willful filing off of gear teeth, the willful doing without certain obvious pieces of information...
...That was how my father-in-law could contain in one mind an indifference toward slave women and love for a blue vase--
That was how Rudolf Hoess, Commandant of Auschwitz, could alternate over the loudspeakers of Auschwitz great music and calls for corpse-carriers--
That was how Nazi Germany could sense no important differences between civilization and hydrophobia--
That is the closest I can come to explaining the legions, the nations of lunatics I've seen in my time...
...Since there is no one else to praise me, I will praise myself--will say that I have never tampered with a single tooth in my thought machine, such as it is. There are teeth missing, God knows--some I was born without, teeth that will never grow. And other teeth have been stripped by the clutchless shifts of history--
But never have I willfully destroyed a tooth on a gear of my thinking machine. Never have I said to myself, 'This fact I can do without.'
Howard W. Campbell, Jr., praises himself! There's life in the old boy yet!
And, where there's life--
There is life."

-- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
so it goes...

If only I weren't a pansy ass. [25 Feb 2004|04:58pm]
gold heart
Heart of Gold


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
so it goes...

Two down, one to go. [22 Feb 2004|09:06pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

For as long as I can remember South Shore (the place of my residence) has been pretty ugly. But it had three saving graces. Three huge, beautiful trees in random places. They would always catch my eye when I was near them, I couldn't walk by and keep my gaze anywhere but on them. They gave the stucco square condos an almost natural feel, as though this place wasn't just carved up recently, but in fact had a history. I mean picture growing up with the only things in your surroundings you find wholesome to be these three trees.

About five years ago I believe there was a part time resident that started to complain about one of the trees. There are two things that must be understood here. First is the location of the tree. The porch of my place looks out towards the water and all the other buildings of South Shore. The tree was right near my porch and blocked all of the other buildings of South Shore. So from my porch I had this terrific view of the green grass leading to the docks and on the other side of the marina there was just undeveloped land ( at the time), and this beautiful tree. Second thing is that by part time resident, I mean she lived there for the winter and that's all. She started complaining about the overwhelming appearance of this tree saying that it blocked her view of the new construction that was being built at the time (which is up now). My parents fought tooth and nail to keep that tree where it is because of how old it was and how incredibly picturesque it was. In the end the Tree Nazi as we call her won out and ordered it cut down utterly and completely. There is a nice anecdote to this part of the story but ask me yourself and I'll give you a private story telling.

Now the forces of evil are back at it. There was another tree right by the road in South Shore, about halfway between the gate and my house for those of you who know my place at all. This was a favorite of ours for climbing and such because it was so vast. I was leaving my house the other day and something felt wrong. Something was missing. The tree was completely destroyed. It was cut down so low I was actually impressed at the skill of the people cutting it. Now when I leave my house to go out I get this feeling of displacement.

There is one tree left, right in the parking lot in front of my place. It is probably the biggest of them all and no less pretty than the others. My only hope is that they don't chop this one down before I leave for college. The only signs of real life in this whole place were those trees. The residents are more or less here to die (and I am thankful for that). The other shrubbery and such that they have is so controlled and frequently trimmed that it might as well not be alive. If they get to that last tree, all the signs of life from my past will be obliterated when I move out.

In the wise words of Kurt Vonnegut:
"So it goes..."

8 dead | so it goes...

These could well possibly be my deepest darkest thoughts [18 Feb 2004|10:01pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Ever since middle school I've had this lurking feeling that I somehow won't make it to college and at this stage in the game about the only way for me to not make it is to die.

And this room of mine is intoxicating. No matter how good of a mood I am in while entering it, as soon as I take a seat or lay down in it I become filled with such incredible magnitudes of discontent to the point of complete disgust. I want to incinerate everyone I've ever dared consider 'friend' because I know that every single one, even if just once, even if only a little bit, and even if only for a millisecond will further this feeling somehow. More so than any other external force I feel that if I were to have a unfortunate fate at this stage in my life, it would be this animosity and fear towards my friends and loved ones to cause my ultimate destruction. After I've alienated the people closest to me (as I have already driven away the closest friend I've ever known), who will still stand by when needed? After I've alienated myself from me... what happens?

Why do I want to leave the people I know so badly? The people I associate with are not bad friends. Probably the best possible. I know that in a thousand different cities and a hundred different lifetimes I could never find their equal and yet I still find myself dissatisfied and desiring to pack up and go. It is as though I feel the only growth that can occur between me and my friends that would make me feel better is a growth of separation and distance.

True story, I realized something was desperately wrong as of late when I said to myself "I don't care about seeing Bowie." The best I can hope for from my life would be some genuine irony which would involve dying from Bowie's piano crashing down upon my head just days before graduation. "Who cares how full the glass is if I'm not going to drink from it?"

5 dead | so it goes...

John, I'm only dancing... [17 Feb 2004|01:15pm]
...and when the night was all over and the lights were turned on and the scary butch black lady was screaming to leave but come back on wednesday, out of the crowd she appeared and said the words which would change the course of my life forever:
"Are you gay or straight?"
"Straight... why?"
"I had a bet with my friend."
"..."

What an interesting night on about five different levels. Mmmmmmm.
8 dead | so it goes...

Yay! [06 Feb 2004|07:23pm]
"Congratulations! Your application to the University of Florida for the 2004 FALL term has been approved. You will receive official notification and additional materials in the mail. We look forward to seeing you on campus in the very near future!"
9 dead | so it goes...

Maybe Ashley was right, eh? [05 Feb 2004|09:42pm]
"That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."
- Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

I never thought I'd do that.
1 dead | so it goes...

weird... [05 Feb 2004|06:06am]

What Beatle are you?

John Lennon

You enjoy poetry, painting & a fine wine. A lover not a fighter.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

4 dead | so it goes...

Any confirmation? Ehh? Ehh? [04 Feb 2004|10:49pm]
Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...Gentle
During Lovemaking You Act...Like a volcano, hot & steamy
Your Partner Is...Your everything
Your Partner Has Said That You...Are their best friend
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote."I love your lips"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!
1 dead | so it goes...

Tuesday Grüp Dress Up Day [03 Feb 2004|09:41pm]


I noticed how well the group of us seem to fit into personas, as though we were in a boy band.
(From left to right)
Steve Wylie: The goofy one with a heart of gold.
Nick Ferlazzo: The professional one.
Jeffrey Beeson: The Yacht Club one or laid back one.
Caleb Neff: The awesome one with a corduroy suit.
Shane Parker: Definitely the heart throb one that make girls across the globe melt just by the thought of because of his dreamy eyes, amazing intellect, promising jewish success, incredible wit, mastery of tantric, chiseled body, and sensitive to a woman's needs personality. Or just the gay one.

What do you see?
21 dead | so it goes...

That Right Ain't Shit [01 Feb 2004|10:41pm]
[ mood | listless ]

Somehow I've become more apathetic than ever in the past 48 hours. I feel as though it is seriously bordering on nihilism at this point. No good. No fucking good.

2 dead | so it goes...

Ah fuck... [01 Feb 2004|11:11am]
[ mood | lonely ]

yup...

so it goes...

If the foot fits the glove, it's meant to be happening. [25 Jan 2004|09:47pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

GAH!

I am now in love with the idea of going to school in London. In love, courtesy of Graham.

It makes me sad to notice how repetitive my highschool life is. Just about everyone I'm ever attracted to or intrigued by has one thing in common. It's quite humorous actually. Three cheers for breaking patterns in college!

I have this sort of invisible ambition. I have these huge plans for my life that are so secret even I don't know them, I just kind of feel their presence. If you were a normal human being with even half a brain I think you'd laugh at the scope.

Laugh all you want though, I don't need friends for I've got Jose Quervo this weekend. What else matters?

5 dead | so it goes...

[25 Jan 2004|06:55pm]
Everyone should come and give blood with me Thursday. There's a major shortage, so come along!
12 dead | so it goes...

Crime doesn't epee. [21 Jan 2004|10:31pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Epee fucking rocks my socks.

3 dead | so it goes...

Yay! [17 Jan 2004|03:37am]
[ mood | conflicted ]

A Brown alumnus that lives in Naples called my house wanting to meet me for an interview. I want to - no - I will make him call Brown and say "Don't pass this one up." At least one person will deem me indispensable.

5 dead | so it goes...

Love is like a bottle of gin [12 Jan 2004|08:27pm]
[ mood | fooked ]

I hate my life (not really).
My family income for 2003, the only year they really look at, is well over double my family income for 2002.
To be more exact, my total family income for 2002 is around 52k. 2003, around 130k. Fuck me.

2 dead | so it goes...

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]